10. Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

9. Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, “Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?” FML

8. Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? “It’s not like I liked it.” FML

7. Today, I was giving my boyfriend head when he decided to randomly thrust halfway through. I’ve a black eye now and a new nickname: “Dickeye.” FML

6. Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

5. Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by “clap on, clap off.” It killed the mood. FML

4. Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

3. Today, I ran into my boyfriend’s dad. His exact words were, “Call me when you’re ready to feel what a real man can do to you.” FML

2. Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

1. Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML