10. Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

9. Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

8. Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

7. Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn’t her… Thanks dad. FML

6. Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, “Put some back into it, son.” before awkwardly sidling out. FML

5. Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I’m single again. FML

4. Today, I found out my girlfriend lied when she said I’d been her first. I found this out after pus started seeping out of my dick. FML

3. Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he’s been using the same condom for the last month. FML

2. Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

1. Today, while going through my recently deceased grandmother’s things with my mom and aunt, I discovered a drawer full of sex toys. I really needed that image. FML